"A White House spokesmen said he fell because it's been raining a lot and the
top soil is loose. We went ahead and looked up the rain for real in Crawford,
Texas. May 15th, 0.0 inches of rain. May 16th, 0.0 inches of rain. 17th no
rain. 18th, 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, and 23rd no rain. First he chokes on a
pretzel; now he fell off his bike. Mr. President, when are you going to admit
that Laura is abusing you? There is no shame in being a battered husband."
- -- Jimmy Kimmel