Random Quote #40 topic: black-humor, Death, violence-as-humor, and the like. Really sick stuff.
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The first Great Steward, Parrafin the Climber, was employed in King
Chloroplast's kitchen as second scullery boy when the old King met a tragic
death. He apparently fell backward by accident on a dozen salad forks.
Simultaneously the true heir, his son Carotene, mysteriously fled the city,
complaining of some sort of plot and a lot of threatening notes left on his
breakfast tray. At the time, this looked suspicious what with his father's
death, and Carotene was suspected of foul play. Then the rest of the King's
relatives began to drop dead one after the other in an odd fashion. Some
were found strangled with dishrags and some succumbed to food poisoning. A
few were found drowned in the soup vats, and one was attacked by assailants
unknown and beaten to death with a pot roast. At least three appear to have
thrown themselves backward on salad forks, perhaps in a noble gesture of
grief over the King's untimely end. Finally there was no one left in Minas
Troney who was either eligible or willing to wear the accursed crown, and
the rule of Twodor was up for grabs. The scullery slave Parrafin bravely
accepted the Stewardship of Twodor until that day when a lineal descendant
of Carotene's returns to reclaim his rightful throne, conquer Twodor's
enemies, and revamp the postal system.

-- Bored of the Rings, "Harvard Lampoon"



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