Farmer Johnson was drunk again.
"You know, Anna," he said to his long-suffering wife, "if you could
only lay eggs we could get rid of all those damn chickens."
Anna said nothing. Farmer Johnson tried again. "You know, Anna, if
only you could give milk we could get rid of that expensive herd of cows."
Anna looked at him coolly. "You know, Jack," she said, "if only you
could get it up once in a while we could get rid of your brother Bob."