Random Quote #49 topic: computers, various fortunes that are computer-related. This includes the 'joke' fortunes that are supposed to emulate system error messages, as well as some neat stuff.
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Dear Emily:
I'm having a serious disagreement with somebody on the net. I
tried complaints to his sysadmin, organizing mail campaigns, called for
his removal from the net and phoning his employer to get him fired.
Everybody laughed at me. What can I do?

-- A Concerned Citizen

Dear Concerned:
Go to the daily papers. Most modern reporters are top-notch computer
experts who will understand the net, and your problems, perfectly. They
will print careful, reasoned stories without any errors at all, and surely
represent the situation properly to the public. The public will also all
act wisely, as they are also fully cognizant of the subtle nature of net
society.
Papers never sensationalize or distort, so be sure to point out things
like racism and sexism wherever they might exist. Be sure as well that they
understand that all things on the net, particularly insults, are meant
literally. Link what transpires on the net to the causes of the Holocaust, if
possible. If regular papers won't take the story, go to a tabloid paper --
they are always interested in good stories.
By arranging all this free publicity for the net, you'll become very
well known. People on the net will wait in eager anticipation for your every
posting, and refer to you constantly. You'll get more mail than you ever
dreamed possible -- the ultimate in net success.

-- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette



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There is a simple script that displays a random message from a database of quotes (as in well-know fortunes game). This version is bundled with quotations from The Bible, The Talmud, The Koran, poetry, prose, famous people and books, humorous items.

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