Random Quote #56 topic: sex, Uhh. Well, you see, son, there are, umm, birds, and bees... This ranges from outrageously frank to moderately suggestive.

Santa Claus comes down the chimney and the nubile sixteen-year-old
has been waiting for him. Santa sees her, and in typically unflappable
Santa-style says, "And what do you want for Christmas, little girl?"
The girl, and she's not so little, tells him. Well, Santa is
definitely flapped by this, but he manages to come out with, "Ho ho ho,
gotta go, gotta get the children their toys, you know."
The girl, not to be daunted, takes off her robe. "Aw, please stay
Santa," she begs.
He replies, "Ho ho ho, gotta go, gotta get the children their toys,
you know."
She then takes off her pajama top, her firm pouting breasts pointing
at Santa like an accusation. "Aw, please stay Santa," she pleads.
"Ho ho ho, gotta go, gotta get the children their toys, you know."
Finally, she takes off her pajama bottoms, revealing to Santa her
warm mound of delight. "Aw, please stay, Santa," she begs.
Being only mortal, Santa finally gives in, sighing, "Hey hey hey,
gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with my dick this way."


Select Next Random Quote Topic:
  apocrypha bible-old bible-new confucius hebraic koran lao-tse nietzsche wittgenstein english-esperanto handy-poetical vulgar-tongue voltaire-dict foolish-dict zola-dictionary rubai-khayyam art ascii-art astrology atheism bierce-devil black-humor bofh-excuses buffy calvin chalkboard computers cookie debian definitions disclaimer drugs education ethnic evilplan fgump food fortunes friends futurama goedel haywards-definitions hitchhiker hphobia humorists humorix-misc humorix-stories joel-on-software kernelcookies kernelnewbies kids knghtbrd law lehenbauer limerick linux linuxcookie literature love magic medicine men-women misandry miscellaneous misogyny news osfortune osho paradoxum people perl pets platitudes politics privates prog-style quotes-20010929 racism religion riddles rj science sex shlomif smac songs-poems sports startrek starwars subversion tao translate-me vulgarity wisdom work xfiles xian-koans zippy ads-1 answers-1 bulletins-1 complaints-1 cruise-1 danquayle-1 employees-1 eugeneormandy-1 excuses-1 famous-1 forest-1 fortunes-1 insurance-1 kidlove-1 kidquotes-1 kidscience-1 language-1 libraries-1 murraywalker-1 news-1 patients-1 predictions-1 ranger-1 restaurants-1 resume-1 river-1 samuelgoldwyn-1 spoonerisms-1 tourism-1 warnings-1 words-1 yogiberra-1 bushism bushjoke reagan obama junauza liz-taylor

There is a simple script that displays a random message from a database of quotes (as in well-know fortunes game). This version is bundled with quotations from The Bible, The Talmud, The Koran, poetry, prose, famous people and books, humorous items.

generated in 0.030146 seconds