Random Quote #58 topic: sex, Uhh. Well, you see, son, there are, umm, birds, and bees... This ranges from outrageously frank to moderately suggestive.

The old mailman is making his last rounds; he retires at the end of
the week. As he approaches the Jones' house, Mrs. Jones greets him warmly at
the door. "Please come in! We're very grateful for your years of service to
us and our neighborhood. I've prepared something special for you."
In walks the mailman, to a graciously appointed dining room, where
Mrs. Jones has prepared a sumptuous lunch. After dumping his letter satchel
on the couch, he and Mrs. Jones have a charming meal. As the mailman finished
his last glass of wine, thanking his hostess profusely, she stops him from
leaving and disappears upstairs. She returns in a moment, in a daring
negligee, and takes the astonished postman to the bedroom, where the elaborate
farewell is consummated between the sheets.
As he's putting his pants on, Mrs. Jones reaches into her nightstand,
pulls out a dollar bill, and hands it to him. Reacting to his astonished
look, she says, "Well, I told my husband that you were retiring and that
we should do something for you. He said 'Fuck him. Give him a dollar!'"
She pauses and smiles proudly. "The lunch was MY idea."


Select Next Random Quote Topic:
  apocrypha bible-old bible-new confucius hebraic koran lao-tse nietzsche wittgenstein english-esperanto handy-poetical vulgar-tongue voltaire-dict foolish-dict zola-dictionary rubai-khayyam art ascii-art astrology atheism bierce-devil black-humor bofh-excuses buffy calvin chalkboard computers cookie debian definitions disclaimer drugs education ethnic evilplan fgump food fortunes friends futurama goedel haywards-definitions hitchhiker hphobia humorists humorix-misc humorix-stories joel-on-software kernelcookies kernelnewbies kids knghtbrd law lehenbauer limerick linux linuxcookie literature love magic medicine men-women misandry miscellaneous misogyny news osfortune osho paradoxum people perl pets platitudes politics privates prog-style quotes-20010929 racism religion riddles rj science sex shlomif smac songs-poems sports startrek starwars subversion tao translate-me vulgarity wisdom work xfiles xian-koans zippy ads-1 answers-1 bulletins-1 complaints-1 cruise-1 danquayle-1 employees-1 eugeneormandy-1 excuses-1 famous-1 forest-1 fortunes-1 insurance-1 kidlove-1 kidquotes-1 kidscience-1 language-1 libraries-1 murraywalker-1 news-1 patients-1 predictions-1 ranger-1 restaurants-1 resume-1 river-1 samuelgoldwyn-1 spoonerisms-1 tourism-1 warnings-1 words-1 yogiberra-1 bushism bushjoke reagan obama junauza liz-taylor

There is a simple script that displays a random message from a database of quotes (as in well-know fortunes game). This version is bundled with quotations from The Bible, The Talmud, The Koran, poetry, prose, famous people and books, humorous items.

generated in 0.005924 seconds