Random Quote #64 topic: hphobia, Slams at gays and lesbians.

"Hello, Police Department."
"This is Thomas Parrish, 903 Sylvester Court. I've just been sexually
molested by a pervert, right here in my own home. It was horrifying!"
"Just remain calm, sir, and tell me about it."
"Well, the man came in the window wearing a ski mask. I was napping
on the bed, in just my pajamas, and the TV set was on so I didn't hear anything.
Suddenly he had his great big old callused hand over my mouth, holding me down.
I tried to scream... he was pulling my pants off. I was so frightened! He
held a knife to my throat and undressed so quickly. What could I do? I
couldn't stop him. He was huge. A great, hairy, beefy man, more than fifty
pounds heavier than I am, and hung like... Oh! it was terrible. He had an
erection, and he knelt on my shoulders and forced the awful thing down my
throat; forced me to suck it. Yes, officer! There was no escaping this man.
Finally, when I thought I would faint, he got off me and turned me over on
my tummy, forcing my legs apart with his knees, and oh! I'm so embarrassed to
say it, he put that huge thing... It must have been a foot long, and I don't
know how thick... into my... Just a minute."
"What's the matter, mister?"
"Listen, I have to hang up now, he's getting out of the shower."


Select Next Random Quote Topic:
  apocrypha bible-old bible-new confucius hebraic koran lao-tse nietzsche wittgenstein english-esperanto handy-poetical vulgar-tongue voltaire-dict foolish-dict zola-dictionary rubai-khayyam art ascii-art astrology atheism bierce-devil black-humor bofh-excuses buffy calvin chalkboard computers cookie debian definitions disclaimer drugs education ethnic evilplan fgump food fortunes friends futurama goedel haywards-definitions hitchhiker hphobia humorists humorix-misc humorix-stories joel-on-software kernelcookies kernelnewbies kids knghtbrd law lehenbauer limerick linux linuxcookie literature love magic medicine men-women misandry miscellaneous misogyny news osfortune osho paradoxum people perl pets platitudes politics privates prog-style quotes-20010929 racism religion riddles rj science sex shlomif smac songs-poems sports startrek starwars subversion tao translate-me vulgarity wisdom work xfiles xian-koans zippy ads-1 answers-1 bulletins-1 complaints-1 cruise-1 danquayle-1 employees-1 eugeneormandy-1 excuses-1 famous-1 forest-1 fortunes-1 insurance-1 kidlove-1 kidquotes-1 kidscience-1 language-1 libraries-1 murraywalker-1 news-1 patients-1 predictions-1 ranger-1 restaurants-1 resume-1 river-1 samuelgoldwyn-1 spoonerisms-1 tourism-1 warnings-1 words-1 yogiberra-1 bushism bushjoke reagan obama junauza liz-taylor

There is a simple script that displays a random message from a database of quotes (as in well-know fortunes game). This version is bundled with quotations from The Bible, The Talmud, The Koran, poetry, prose, famous people and books, humorous items.

generated in 0.003783 seconds