"I noticed that of all the prayers I used to offer to god, and all the prayers
that I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answer at about the same 50% rate.
Half the time I get what I want. Half the time I don't. Same as god 50/50.
Same as the four leaf clover, the horse shoe, the rabbit's foot, and the
wishing well. Same as the mojo man. Same as the voodoo lady who tells your
fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. It's all the same; 50/50. So just
pick your superstitions, sit back, make a wish and enjoy yourself. And for
those of you that look to the Bible for it's literary qualities and moral
lessons; I got a couple other stories I might like to recommend for you. You
might enjoy The Three Little Pigs. That's a good one. It has a nice happy
ending. Then there's Little Red Riding Hood. Although it does have that one
x-rated part where the Big-Bad-Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I
didn't care for, by the way. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of
moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I liked best: ...and all the
king's horses, and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again.
That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no god. None.
Not one. Never was. No god."