Random Quote #75 topic: politics, The great wonder about the offensive political file is that it mostly contains direct quotes by politicians who *weren't* trying to be funny.
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You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The
short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified", which
means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax-preparation
expert to distinguish between their first and last names. Here's the
complete text:

"(1) How much did you make? (AMOUNT)
(2) How much did we here at the government take out? (AMOUNT)
(3) Hey! Sounds like we took too much! So we're going to
send an official government check for (ONE-FIFTEENTH OF
THE AMOUNT WE TOOK) directly to the (YOUR LAST NAME)
household at (YOUR ADDRESS), for you to spend in any way
you please! Which just goes to show you, (YOUR FIRST
NAME), that it pays to file the short form!"

The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your
money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.

-- Dave Barry, "Sweating Out Taxes"



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There is a simple script that displays a random message from a database of quotes (as in well-know fortunes game). This version is bundled with quotations from The Bible, The Talmud, The Koran, poetry, prose, famous people and books, humorous items.

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