Tech Support: "Sir, open up your System Folder and find the Launcher Items
Customer: "I don't have a Systems Folder."
My patience with such customers was wearing thin. After a short pause:
Tech Support: "It's in your hard disk, sir. You must have one, or else your
computer wouldn't start properly."
Customer: "Hard disk, hard disk...hmmm -- is that little rectangle in the top
Tech Support: "Yes."
Customer: "Ok, but mine doesn't say 'Hard Disk.' It's just labeled with a
period. How did that happen?"
Tech Support: "Well, you can name it anything you want, perhaps yours was
Customer: "Oh. What now?"
Tech Support: "Open your System Folder."
Customer: "I don't have a systems folder. Oh, oh, here it is! Ok, ok, I'm
opening the Systems Envelope now."
And after an excruciating 30 minutes of how to make an alias and reminding him
that he truly did have a System Folder (or, as he called it, an "Envelope") and
where it was, we got his new software on the Launcher.
Ten minutes later he called me back and told me how he had written down my
directions to the "Systems Envelope" so he could put more programs on his
Launcher. One of the programs didn't work, however, and after another 45 minutes
of sheer hell, I told him we needed to send him some new floppies.
Customer: "Hey, can you send me a dozen apples too? My wife would like to make
a pie. Ha ha! Apples. Get it? Macintoshes? Ha ha. Don't you get it?"
If I had a button on my phone to administer electro-shock to this man, I would
Tech Support: "Yes sir, I do."