Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen!
Here's a little number I tossed up in the Carribean recently...
Isn't it awfully nice to have a Penis,
isn't it frightfully good to have a Dong.
It's swell to have a Stiffy,
it's divine to have a Dick,
from the tinyest little Tadger,
to the world's greatest Prick.
So, breeches for your Willy or John-Thomas,
Hooray! for your One Eyed Trouser's Snake.
Your Piece of Pork, your Wife's best friend,
your Porky or your Cock,
you can wrap it up in ribbons,
you can stick it in your sock!
But, don't take it out in public,
or they will stick you in the dock,
and you won't come back.
- -- Monty Python, from "The Meaning of Life"