Random Quote #96 topic: miscellaneous, It has everything that doesn't fit in other categories.

An elderly lady bought a Mac Performa and when she got it home she decieded to
give me a call.
Customer: "I opened my computer and set it up and I love it!"
Tech Support: "I'm glad to hear it how can I help you?"
Customer: "Well, I turned it on and can't seem to get anything to happen."
Tech Support: "Did you turn the power switch on?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "Is the monitor on?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "What do you see?"
Customer: "The same thing I saw in your store."
Tech Support: "What is the problem?"
Customer: "I can't get the arrow to move."
Tech Support: "Ok, what do you have plugged into the system?"
Customer: "Well, the thing with the letters on it and this foot pedal thing."
Tech Support: "Is the foot pedal on a chair mat?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Well, you will need to get one before it will work."
Customer: "Thank you, I'll do that."


Select Next Random Quote Topic:
  apocrypha bible-old bible-new confucius hebraic koran lao-tse nietzsche wittgenstein english-esperanto handy-poetical vulgar-tongue voltaire-dict foolish-dict zola-dictionary rubai-khayyam art ascii-art astrology atheism bierce-devil black-humor bofh-excuses buffy calvin chalkboard computers cookie debian definitions disclaimer drugs education ethnic evilplan fgump food fortunes friends futurama goedel haywards-definitions hitchhiker hphobia humorists humorix-misc humorix-stories joel-on-software kernelcookies kernelnewbies kids knghtbrd law lehenbauer limerick linux linuxcookie literature love magic medicine men-women misandry miscellaneous misogyny news osfortune osho paradoxum people perl pets platitudes politics privates prog-style quotes-20010929 racism religion riddles rj science sex shlomif smac songs-poems sports startrek starwars subversion tao translate-me vulgarity wisdom work xfiles xian-koans zippy ads-1 answers-1 bulletins-1 complaints-1 cruise-1 danquayle-1 employees-1 eugeneormandy-1 excuses-1 famous-1 forest-1 fortunes-1 insurance-1 kidlove-1 kidquotes-1 kidscience-1 language-1 libraries-1 murraywalker-1 news-1 patients-1 predictions-1 ranger-1 restaurants-1 resume-1 river-1 samuelgoldwyn-1 spoonerisms-1 tourism-1 warnings-1 words-1 yogiberra-1 bushism bushjoke reagan obama junauza liz-taylor

There is a simple script that displays a random message from a database of quotes (as in well-know fortunes game). This version is bundled with quotations from The Bible, The Talmud, The Koran, poetry, prose, famous people and books, humorous items.

generated in 0.008379 seconds